The question of who I am has been a profound inquiry I have made for myself throughout my life-long- short! I am sure who I am. But my family and friends, they are confused as to just who I really am. The fact that I am not only flesh and blood is acceptable. But who is this genius, this being that stands at the center of my innerself, for surely a divine me dwells securely beyond my present reach to know and perceive.
I have the capacity to objectively view my life and determine what I will do, what I have done and what I am doing-and in the process I can change my life experiences to move in any direction.
The outer me is the stage upon which the inner me expresses itself. The inner me is beyond contemplation, it is ABSOLUTE in the highest sense of the word. The inner me can take any direction I choose to give it without the least hesitation as to its beneficial or nonbeneficial result in the physical body that expresses it.
My physical body can experience either illness or deformity, harmony or perfection, or both, in all its expected functioning. Yet, I view what is going on and I, the inner me, am unaffected as to what is going on. The self who views all of this sees from a deeper sense and a fuller awareness than I am able to describe.
My body is daily changing. Momen- tly new cells replace cells which are deemed unnecessary and fluffed off in the dust of eternity. My physical body is timeless. Every seven years each cell of my body is replaced.
In this innocent new replacement I allow the appearance of the former cells aging to influence the new cells. I create cells consistent with my consciousness, my thinking and feeling nature, which tells me that the cells should appear to have aged and become less vital, refined and dynamic.
My reality-the being I am, my innerself-never changes.
How can I acknowledge this with such confidence: I believe I am as young or as old as my thought is about myself at any given moment. I observe what is going on without judgment, without possession and without being touched by the observation. I accept the appearances. As I do this the illusion is my natal day, for I am being born new momently.
It is as though I am two or more people. I am the physical being I am observing. I am the mental being observing my physical and thought being. I am the spiritual being seeing beyond both the mental and physical expression to its archetypal reality which stands indescribable.
I do not feel sad that I am untouched. I do not feel eager to know more about this innerself which can observe all so lucidly and yet insensitively see the very machinations of "my" human life. With the wise ones, I proclaim, This too shall pass. Yet, how do I know that this too shall pass. While it is happening it is naturally very real and very definite in my experience.
It would be appropriate and accurate for me to list all of the great thinkers who speak on this subject. It would be humble of me to say that other great minds have spoken on this subject. However, it is immaterial. What other minds relate is the reflection of my thought. I am my mind. I am my own expression here and now. I tell it the way it touches me, and even here I am limited because words do not exist to speak out the magic of the innerself being itself.
I thought that my physical-mental evolution was to bring me from my primordial self to my evolved spiritually illumined innerself. This is false. The perfect me, my perfect being, has always been and will always exist, albeit hidden from view until I open my eyes to the visions my innerself would have me enjoy.
My conviction is: I live here during my lifetime on this planet to remember who and what I am-I am divine, I am all.
The game I allow myself to play is designed to confuse me and amuse me. The game is in my life to allow me to either remember, or not, that I am the creative cause of the universe. I am the all. Since all is and matter can neither be created nor destroyed, the game is an illusion and only good comes from it however I may play the game.
Some schools of thought suggest that a body needs resistance to develop strength and that for spiritual growth one needs resistance to teach the soul to be in charge and be more powerful than any problem. I categorically do not subscribe to this philosophy.
I believe that whatever I empower with my thought, word and action, I bring into being in my life experiences.
Any obstacle that confronts me is powerless as I am mentally greater than its confusion for me-or I give in to the game and admit defeat because I do not put forth a cause to achieve the goal.
When I am faced with a circumstance that does not have an immediate apparent response I affirm: All is in divine order now. Doing this I proclaim that the spirit of order and right action in me is the only authority to handle a given circumstance. I am peace. I am power. I am fulfilled. This game, too, shall pass with me the champion.
Who am I-I am a sojourner on my inner path.
What is my inner path: The déjà vu of knowing that I have been there and the belief that the path is vividly alive in me and I can know it and experience it when I persist in living it and seeking it out. I am familiar with my reality and I awaken to its being me now.
I am told the path to my innerself is a difficult path and strewn with the dead bodies of those who have ineffectively sought its way. I do not see it this way. I see the path to my innerself as one of the most joyous and fulfilling experiences I have ever had and I am having all of the time.
True, I look at the world of experiences and of my creation and at times I see things which were I to judge I would feel it less than attractive. I see things at times that were I possessed I would feel that something of great joy was taken from me. At times I see an expression in the world of purity and goodness that delights me and makes me want to experience it myself-and then I just set about to do it immediately. What other way would I go!
I spiritually walk the way by way of an unsullied life with an open mind and a pure heart. I keep my intellect raring to go. I am clear in my spiritual perception. With integrity I stand for truth even when I am belittled and showered with personal injustice. I am strong in my declaration of my principles. I am untouched. I encourage those who are unjustly attacked to stand for their convictions, to be unbowed by any temporary circumstance, even if it means their death, even as I stand for principle even though it might mean my death.
I have known many men, women and children who had neardeath experiences. I have had my own and know it first hand. It is only when I was ready to release myself to the occurrence that it held no power over me. This is true for all with whom I have shared these ideas. When nothing mattered except to be peace, to be "out of it" in a stage of bliss-then everything came together for me and for those with whom I have shared the near-death experiences.
Who am I-I am peace. Who am I-I am all. Who am I-I am me. As I claim that I am me and live from my awareness of what I conceive me to be, I live a blissful happy life that needs nothing more to be added to it, for it is complete.
-Dr Herbert L Beierle