WHEN BEST FRIENDS get together they have fun and do things that are amusing to each of them. Best friends ask each other, "What will we do today? Have you got any ideas? Should we do this or that, what do you think? In being a best friend one does not dominate the other or possess the other. Friendship is for the fun of sharing who we are just the way we are.
Marriage by definition says, "The
institution where men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal
dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family."
A friend is defined as, "To Love! One attached to another by affection or esteem. One that is not hostile. A favored
Interestingly, marriage does not mention love.
How wonderful it would be if we always were with our best friend. What a great adventure life would be if we spent all of our time with the person who was our best friend, with our best friends. What would keep us from being with our best friend at all times-only should we seek to convert that friend into a possession and judge that person.
Marriage is seen as a license to possess and judge.
Marriage is seen as a license to be superior to our partner. Marriage allows us to pick on them and demand our values for them in such a manner that they have no decision making powers of their own. When this takes place it is no wonder that fifty percent of the marriages end up in divorce. Divorce is based on the condition that the other person did not live up to our expectations of them. The other person did not change themselves into the "image we have" of what our "perfect" partner should be like.
How grand it would be if we really would marry our best friend.
If we married our best friend we would live in paradise. If we choose to have children, we could. If our best friend was of our same sex, we could adopt a child from the
Marriage does not mean coupling of beings for copulation, although most find this a high priority in the relationship. In fact, a small portion of the married life is spent in this activity. The largest portion of married life should be spent in being a friend with our mate.
None of us are taught how to be a friend in the world into which we are born.
None of us are taught how to be the best friend in marriage; how to be the best friend of our spouse or partner; how to be the best friend of our offspring-our children; how to be the best friend to our pets, how to be a friend in any role we play husband-wife, lover-beloved, father-child, mother- child, best friend-best friend!
Professionals in the field of marriage counseling, human counseling, relationship counseling, parent counseling, work counseling, employment counseling, FRIEND TO FRIEND counseling are few and far between. Most immediately assume a psychologically false concept thinking every relationship should continue to be and that it must be harmonious, regardless who must give-in to the other to make it happen. This is not friendship. It is certainly not being a friend.
We can only begin from where we are. We exist. We have had whatever background we have had in life. We have whatever parents and family, teachers and peers, humans and animals in our life such as they may be, and we proceed from this beginning.
The primary goal is for us first to be a friend to ourselves and then be a friend to all in the world. No exceptions. Starting from this premise we do not think about what has gone before, what benefit or limitation our past to this instant has been for us. We put an entirely new direction in motion for ourselves.
Today I live and treat myself as a friend to myself.
This may sound silly, however, it is the foundation for living a healthy happy fulfilled life.
When I love myself, when I am a friend of myself, I do not find fault in who and what I am. I do not look for my limitations and say that they exist and I am "stuck" with them. Rather, I look at the ideal of being my bestest friend: just what that means, and proceed to live as though I indeed am my best friend.
Being my own best friend means I unconditionally love myself. I nonjudgmentally accept myself in every possible way. I nonposses- sively live in a world where I have everything I can think of and all is mine to enjoy-coming to me through my thought about it. I am aware that everything in my world is my thought and therefore I am untouched by anything that takes place. Whenever something is no longer amusing to me I create new something- person place or thing-that delights me.
Since I am so wise I create myself well. I now create all in the world about me as an expression of how much I love myself. Doing this I am surrounded by FRIENDS who delight in ME and cannot get enough of my presence, my sharing and my being.
Any marriage based on such a platform is paradise. The partners each giving one hundred percent of themselves to the relationship and having done this they experience a marriage of two hundred percent and more at all times. Wow, what an ideal!
It only takes one to make a happy life-myself! It only takes one to be thrilled. I am my own best friend. I am the best friend to my world and all who I have created to inhabit the world. Life is wonderful. Life is beautiful. Life is fulfilling. I have made it that way. I am my own best friend and the best friend of all life.
86th INTA Congress
A Tiger Of Love
SEVERAL HUNDRED people converged on Harrah's Hotel in Las Vegas for the 86th International New Thought Alliance Congress in June. Speakers from around the world illumined the audience with their thrilling understanding of metaphysical truth.
Under the direction of Dr Blaine Mays, INTA president; Dr Mimi Ronnie, chief operations officer; Rev Nancy Bell, congress program coordinator; and Congress Chairperson Dr Fred McCoun, dynamic lectures and spirited workshops melted away the days with spiritual brilliance and entertainment.
Dr Ellen Jermini and I talked before and after each session with our students and friends. UNI student Rhonda Joyce of Vegas was a volunteer worker at the Congress. UNI student Rev Evelyn John of New York and UNI Rev Herbert Marty of Switzerland soaked up the wisdom of such spiritual luminaries as: Robert Winterhalter, Deb White- house, Sheila Weldon, Elmiree Farr Walter, Charles Throckmorton, Colleen Tanaka, Mary Ellen Swartz, Larry Swartz, Tian of Siam, Shay St John, William Spence, LaFayette Seymour, Mimi Ronnie, John Price, Jan Price, Margaret Paul, Glenn Mosley, Harry Morgan Moses, Fred McCoun, Cynthia Lippert, Blaine Mays, Paul Leon Masters, Kathianne Lewis, Paul Laughlin, Anne Kunath, Joyce Kramer, Joann Jorgenson, Tom Johnson, LaMoyne Havens, Leddy Hammock, Edwene Gaines, Doug Foglesong, Luis De Aguila, Roy Eugene Davis, Tom Costa, Arthur Chang, Hyatt Carter, Betty Campbell, Dick Caldwell, John Buchanan, Kathleen Bishop and Alan Anderson.
Blaine and Betty Mays were remarkable host and hostess for the event being everywhere all the time. The manner in which they conducted themselves lent an ethereal, most magical charm to the program. During the congress a sense of impending newness was prevalent as though some great announcement was awaiting to be made.
The theme Renaissanc- ing the Spirit Now could well have instituted the impending newness that was in the very fabric of the congress atmosphere. Always the concept of rebirth with its revival, resurrection, regeneration and new beginning seemed to reach further than the speakers who rose amazingly well to the topic-but the feeling of an immanent change was predominant.
I played the clown during the Life Member Party as we were included in their ranks. I was able to go to every guest present and make a photograph of them on our digital camera allowing us to look to see if each shot was fabulous-it was! To the music of yesteryear Ellen and I danced.
Dr Stefan Strässle drove over the last two days for an intensive conference with our student Rev Marty, Ellen and myself. Herbert Marty laid out plans for new book expansion and promotion which we will be expediting shortly.
Thought For Today
FOR MONTHS NOW I have been preparing the THOUGHT FOR TODAY and giving a half hour lecture on campus at 4:15 am for the monks and staff. The significant topics titles have been so well received that I have sent them out on the e-mail of
These THOUGHT FOR TODAY have such a powerful impact that hundreds of students and friends around the world have asked to be included in receiving them.
I have done my best to do this. However, with the large number of e-mails I am sending them to it has created a bit of a bog-down. Bare with me as I figure out the best way to handle it.
I am in the process of including with the THOUGHT FOR TODAY a special electronic signal which can be used by everyone who receives the THOUGHT FOR TODAY. Each person may enliven the signal and listen to either a 10 minute talk or 30 minute talk. The concept is exciting and I am working on it to improve it as much as possible before I send it out.
Thank you for your interest in our THOUGHT FOR TODAY and the work of the Church of God Unlimited and the University of Healing.
Miracles happen when I give my best to whatever it is that I do. I am surrounded by my pure white light of love and everything works out harmoniously and significantly.